Holding Space While in Process

"I can't help or hold space for someone while I'm in process/until I'm fully healed"--I just felt to speak on and dismantle this message ingrained in many of us who are providers in some form, or who desire to be. The truth is anyone in service to others will have waves of their own emotional processing, layers of their own trauma that arise, confrontations with old belief systems and ways of being, just as anyone else.

Whether it is healthy or mutually conducive to actively hold a healing container for someone while deep in your own processing is debatable. On one hand, it is important to feel stable enough in yourself to solidly and non-reactively hold the emotional and energetic charges that arise in the other person in a healing space. If you do not feel capable of meeting and holding the emotions of another, the thought of it feels overwhelming, or you are in general in a state of cathartically projecting your emotions onto others, then absolutely it is better to postpone what you have planned for a time of greater stability.

Personally I've found that the way I hold MYSELF through whatever I am navigating in my personal life at the time of providing service to others translates directly to how this person is able to receive from me and the container I am holding. If I myself am in a place of emotional vulnerability, rawness, surrender, trust, and self compassion toward my own process, even while feeling "heavy" emotions or in somewhat of a "dark" mental space, this vulnerability and connectivity seems to filter to the other person and gives them the safety and "permission" to enter the same place for themselves, allowing for deeper work.

If I am in a place of personal resistance to whatever I am going through, judging myself, or beating myself up, then this resistance is also mirrored by the other persons ability to receive and a tangible sense of tension or unsafety.

When I have moved forward with planned spaces while navigating something immensely difficult in my own life, I have found that whatever themes the other person is moving through are directly related to my own process, almost as if spirit perfectly orchestrates these meetings and interactions to be mutually reflective and beneficial.

I have never found any issue in all my years of holding healing space to lead these spaces as "a work in progress". We are all continually learning, growing, and evolving and the most important thing I have found is that there is an alignment in what the person holding space has learned in relation to what the one receiving is seeking. There will always be someone in need of what you have to share, regardless of where you are personally at in your journey, someone who is a tad "behind" in something you are currently navigating or have already found your way through. Trust in the medicine you hold from the specific things you have survived and navigated throughout your life, this expectation and illusion of continually living in absolute balance and perfection needs to go

Yet another reflection from Rose <3